Should email passwords be shared with your spouse?

By Judith Newman, MannerUp columnist for Parade magazine.

Q: My wife wants us to share our email passwords, and we’re having a huge fight about it. I don’t have anything to hide, but does being married mean I can’t have any privacy? —Joel S., Topeka, Kan.

A: In the age of Schwarzenspitzerweiner, everyone’s feeling more suspicious of what his or her mate is doing online. I sympathize with your wife, but I’m with you. Being married does not mean you lose the right to vent to your friends, crack jokes your mate might find annoying—or even have hobbies your spouse might not approve of. Frankly, I don’t really want to be mocked for how much time I spend looking at my friends’ pet photos. Explain to your wife that your desire for privacy isn’t because you want to send indiscreet ­photos to 20-year-old women you’ve never met. To reassure her that you can be trusted, be transparent in your day-to-day behavior. Don’t walk out of the room when you’re on the phone, don’t surreptitiously text when you’re ­together, and be clear where you are at all times until her anxiety ebbs. If her suspicions are baseless, she will relax. If they’re not, you have bigger problems than the questionable videos the guys at the office are sending you.

—Judith Newman